Help me help you sell out

Now that I'm back in the 'Burgh, I can begin my job search for real.

Small confession -- I'm a sucker for good advertising. Given the choice between two identical brands of cereal, I will buy the more expensive cereal in the flashy box rather than the unmarked bag on the bottom shelf.

I consider the sponge monkeys from the Quiznos ads and that bird on old public service announcements that first told me, "Trees are terrific!" to be some of my oldest friends.

I've been a cop and a professional journalist, but I'm slowly but surely realizing that I love advertising. I want to be the guy with the Comcast Slowskys commercials on my resume. I want people to get all huffy when they can't get my ad line out of their heads. I want to be a company psy ops man, working out new and novel ways to drive the American consumer culture I love so much.

There's no reason I can't do this. I'm creative, hard-working and highly adaptable. I've got superior writing experience and an eye toward continuing my education in Web design, programming and media editing. We might be in a recession, but I don't think there's ever been a time when ideas and the drive to make them concrete was worthless.

So - c'mon, Pittsburgh. I survived two years in the Deep South and drove 800 miles to get back to you. Put me to work.